Vibe

To switch my thoughts, unending as they always are, to positive grooves and other topics.  Things I can change, things I can help, differences I can make. The futility of what my mental disorder wants me to do must be acknowledged. It’s a wasteful beast. Leading into endless google searches and paralyzing rituals. Things I…

You’re not a journalist Hannah, you’re a f***ing writer

Thank you Girls for renewing some vigor for writing. Although Lena Dunham’s show is not without faults and mocking, it’s got something about it. There’s something that appeals to me. It’s possible I relate to it because Dunham, and her character Hannah, both suffer from OCD but it’s not a main focus. It’s on the…

Such Great Heights

You know, the dolls that open up and another one is inside that one, and then another one, and another one. That’s how it feels to rationalize OCD thoughts.  Or it’s like whack-a-mole. Maybe the dolls are a little too organized, but sometimes those thoughts do run in threads and follow topics. Other times they…

Up To Date

It is impossible to vaccinate for your mental health, believe me, I have tried. It is however, possible to understand it and accept it. That is the first dose of my therapy, my own version of a cure. ACT. Accept. Commit. Therapy. If mental illness were treated like physical illness more people might talk about…

Sense of humor required, love of wine preferred

A funny line, that comes and goes A tasty wine, a cab, some bubbly, perhaps a rosé Can you sip them both? Savor the taste on the tip of your laughter, Drink in the joy of an easy humor, A smile, a laugh, not soon to forget A sweet happy vintage, a 2012 sunset.

Flash Flood

Memories start to bleed, one into the next Feelings fade, as does the need to reach out, to text Tears, they still fall, but less and pain, it is still felt deep within my chest Panic subsides, and gives way to a space for grief And yet, my insides, they still tighten and ache, seething…